Are these the straws that break the camel's back? Where is that incentive to compete, win at all costs, dislike the opposition...Have I become old?

I started 2007 with a goal, probably a stupid one, to train to swim the 15kms out through the Shubie system of lakes, canals, and portages.

My three months (March/April/May) in the pool gave me a base of 55kms, with a couple 3km swims and 2.5kms swims.

And then it was time to get into the lake. What was fun last year training for the Quadrathlon was looked upon as drudgery. Why was I doing this? Did I really want to swim 3 hours, four days of the week? If I did tough it out, spending (wasting?) most of my summer in the water, would it be possible to stay in the water long enough, and keep warm, for the 7 -8 hours required to do it at my 'slow' pace.

I think I have lost that killer instinct. Either that or I just don't/didn't have a proper vision!

I am continuing, for enjoyment and fitness:

-to swim 1-2 kms, 3 times a week.

-to bike 35-40 kms, 2-3 times a week.

-to run/jog 5 kms, 2-3 times a week.

-to paddle an hour, 3 times a week.

-and to do a 3-5 km walk almost everyday with my good buddy, C.S. Lewis.

But I have no goals and it is an empty feeling.

Even this 'blog' has become a 'slog'..........last year a pleasure to update weekly, this year a strain on my time and interest.

This is not to say I am coming to a stop:

-I will still be regular with the day to day stuff.

-I will enjoy the Gonzo group hike to the White Mountains in late August.

-Also the Gonzo group bike ride to Quebec in September.

-Birder and I will be spending the month of October in Romainia.

-We plan on skiing 2-3 times a week during the winter.

-Spend 3 weeks in Cuba in February.

-Spend 3 weeks in Turkey and Greece, April/May.

The concern is I have lost that edge, even though I realize I'm 30 years beyond, as Bruce Springsteen calls them, The Glory Days , it was nice to have that feeling of--as Nancy called it:

------trying to go Longer, Farther, Faster, and Higher.

It's an interesting time for me--I have been struggling with a 'breaking down' body over the past twenty years, now it looks like I am struggling with a broken down attitude.

Time to step back and look at my THREE PROGRESSIVE VISIONARY HEADINGS:

1.Dreams--brain storm the stuff I would like to do.

2.Goals----identify from these dreams on a regular basis, dates and loose logistics.

3.Plans----implement these identified goals.

Maybe I will take a trip to the Land of Oz, join up with the Tin Man, the Straw Man, and the Lion, in their searches for a heart, brain, and courage, and maybe I can find an attitude.

Anyone know when the next tornado is coming by?